Monday, December 27, 2010
It is 4 AM and I am wide awake. Part of me could not sleep because I was selfish yesterday and was thinking of myself. If night time does not bring you sleep it certainly can open your eyes to what really matters.
Yesterday morning my cell phone woke me at 7:15 AM. I was sleeping in my grand daughter’s twin bed with her on the trundle bed attached to it and my grandson next to her on his sleeping bag. We had somehow managed to stop talking to each other and fall to sleep after a wonderful Christmas day.
I had no idea what time it was when the phone woke me but I could tell that it was still very early by the little light coming through the windows. Of course, with my brother going through Cancer treatments I immediately thought something had happened to him. Carefully slipping out of the room with my phone I had to see who was calling at that early hour. \
It was Gary’s number showing under missed calls so I hurried and returned his call. Much to my surprise and annoyance it went to voice mail. Doesn’t that just make you want to throw the darn phone when that happens to you! I mean they just called you and then not 5 minutes later you call them back and their phone is turned off. What’s with that especially when the call is at an early hour and you have reason to worry? So I dialed his fiancée number and same thing. By now all kinds of scenarios are racing through my brain.
My grandson woke up a short time later so we spent some alone time making each other laugh in between me trying to get hold of Gary. Finally his girlfriend Sherry answered and I asked what was wrong. She wanted to know what time I was coming back home that Gary wanted to see me. I gathered what information I could get out of her before she hung up because I thought it strange they would call me so early in the morning for that reason. All I knew at that time was for some reason or another Gary wanted me there with him.
All I could think of was myself and how I had just got there at noon the day before to see my family and now I was needed at my brothers but with no real reason as to why. You know how we get when we are being pulled in two different directions and we want the one that is fun. I finally realized if I stayed there with my grandbabies I would not enjoy it fully for thinking of Gary and so I tearfully left for home.
It turns out Gary was having anxiety attaches because his tongue was swelling up and he was afraid of not being able to breath. He was scared which I of course now I can see clearly why.
What this long story is leading to is after I left Gary’s and came home exhausted I went to sleep for a few hours. Of course something woke me up and I laid in bed for hours thinking of how selfish I was for not wanting to leave my kids and come back to the problems of home.
Then I thought of the things that had made me feel better while driving back home. I thought of the sweet comments, cards, emails, phone calls and surprises you guys have left for me over the last weeks and months. There is no way I can explain to you without writing another three pages of how these things have lifted me this year.
So when I woke this morning and could not go back to sleep I started thinking and laughing about the words you leave for me and what just a few words means to someone. I thought of how selfish I was for not wanting to leave when now I realize Gary just needed a hug and some words from his only sister. I kept thinking what can I do for him why am I going home but it was simple just words of kindness was what he needed.
I realized this morning words can change everything for someone. If you think it’s no big deal about leaving someone a comment think again. It could be just what that person needed that day even if you think they have it made in life. You never know what one word from you will do for them. Like me they may think of it one day when their down and out and then smile because of you and your words.
Even if it is just a butt dial it could still bring a smile to someone’s face. In case you are like this ole grandma and wondering what a butt dial is well don’t feel bad I had no clue what my grandson was talking about when he used those words. Turns out that can happen when you carry your phone in your tight fitting jeans and your butt dials someone’s number with out you knowing it. Lol
Thanks for being you and being there for me! I hope you had a very Merry Christmas and I am looking forward to catching up with you!
This week when I take Gary for treatments I will try to say the right words and be a little less selfish.
Love to all
Posted by Lidya Endzo Kun iLLa at 4:00 AM
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